Happy Birthday to ME today! :-)

Birthdays have this weird way of making you think deeply about your life. It's time to reflect back and examine where you are now.

In this process, I've been listening to a new song by Francesca Battistelli called "Beautiful, Beautiful" that so describes how I feel about my life right now and as I reflect back.

There's been a lot of hard and difficult times in my life and I know there will be  days ahead that will be just as hard and challenging.  There are many things in life that still break my heart every day.  But through it all, God has woven something so beautiful in my life and that beauty is simply HIM!

Early in my life, I felt so completely broken and of very little worth.  I couldn't even imagine ever being happy back then.  In fact, I remember resolving myself to the fact that I would never feel peace or true joy in my life.  I just didn't think it was possible and couldn't imagine it.

But in spite of that, I took a huge step.  I surrendered my life to Christ and asked Him to take my life and use it for His purposes.  I remember thinking that if I couldn't ever experience happiness, maybe I could at least use my life to help others experience it. I decided to try as hard as I could to live by Jesus' golden rule:

Luke 6:31
“Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

I knew what I wanted others to do for me. I wanted them to love me.  I wanted them to accept me.  I wanted them to not judge me and give me grace.  I wanted them to be kind to me.  I wanted them to treat me with respect.  I wanted them to tell me the truth in love.  I wanted them to show me mercy and forgiveness.

All those things have become my life mission as I have sought to continually follow Christ and give my life to Him as His servant.

I have not always been the most faithful or faithfilled servant.  I have made mistakes.  I have not always loved unconditionally or with my whole heart.  But I have not given up.  I have continued to stay the path (with God's help).  I have wanted to quit or give up soo many times. (me of little faith.) And in the process of persevering, I have been so completely transformed.

I haven't arrived...I still have a long way to go.....but I am not the same person.  I now know incredible, audacious joy and peace like I couldn't imagine before.  Yes, I still experience much sorrow, pain and even suffering at times.  But even in the midst of those times, I have this incredible peace!  Hard to describe in words but it's all so beautiful!

The bottom line is God has been teaching me to love.  And as I've been learning to love and let His love flow through me, I am CHANGED!  I am amazed and I feel so much love all the time!

My mission in life has shifted slightly.  Now my hope and prayer is to teach others how to love and how to experience LOVE!  I want everyone to have the same incredible love and peace that I have come to know! He is the master at love and His name is Jesus!

Through all the years and seasons of my life, God has woven something beautiful, beautiful! Yes, even perfect days still end in rain.  But through it all is God's love shing through like sonlight burning at midnight.  Something beautiful, beautiful!

Thank you LORD, not just for my life, but for the LIFE that YOU have brought to it and continue to bring!  Today, I celebrate two births!  I thank God for my physical birth, and I thank God for the day I was BORN AGAIN!!!! To Christ be all the glory forever and ever!  AMEN!